cleansing her by the washing with water through the word

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Psalm 86:11-13

Teach me your way, O LORD, that I may walk in your truth;
unite my heart to fear your name.

Oh God, please...

Grab that piece of heart that wants to believe that eating triple chocolate bundt cake and chocolate chip cookies will make her life happy. She's just making herself miserable. And while you're at it, could you grab the piece that believes that being skinny will make everything easier? They're sitting right next to each other.

And that one, Lord. That piece of heart that is over there wandering around in the dream of open spaces and apple trees. She is drifting about believing that anywhere except in the middle of the city would bring her peace.

And way over there...way over there over that hill, God...that's the one that keeps looking for Jason to fill it up. She gets really close, God, but he's always a few steps ahead.

Don't be fooled by this piece of heart that follows you quickly, God. She looks all right with her clean house and big smile, but that's just a front. That piece just wants you to believe it's perfect so you'll keep loving it, but you know better, Lord.

Go quietly to get the piece shivering in the dark corner of fear over there. She'll run, because she thinks you are going to hurt her, God. She doesn't trust you, so you'll have to tiptoe.

There goes the piece that wants to be everything to everyone. She's fast. She has to be.

And Jesus. This piece is going to fight. That's the piece that doesn't trust that you'll do what's best for her babies. She's going to hang on, and she bites.

Oh, please grab all the pieces I can't see. I know you see them. Get the ones I don't even know are missing. And unite them into a new heart. I don't care if it's painful, I just so badly want it to be done. And only you can do it, God.

And I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;

I will glorify your name forever
For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.


  1. Nice writing..I think one of the hardest "pieces" for me to understand was that my husband can't fill my empty places and shouldn't be expected to do so.

  2. That is a honest and humble prayer Katie- and SO SO BEAUTIFUL! It reminded me of this verse, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6) He will give you grace (enabling strength) to keep saying break my will, let my heart be torn in two, until Your will is mine. Your blog is so inspiring, I love it. Love you.

  3. Katie, I can relate to all of those pieces, but the piece that screams at me right now is the one about fearing God in the wrong sort of way. I am "gun shy" right now towards God... wondering what will come down the pipe next. Totally not where God wants my heart to be. Thanks for sharing your heart. It's beautiful because it's God's. -Anna Hughes